Virginity vs The World

A lot of people ask me why I want to remain a virgin, and while I know the exact answer to that question when I am writing or ranting to myself alone in my room, the instant I am standing in front of another person it never comes out the way I had planned

Here's the problem: I want to explain why I want to remain a virgin until marriage without coming across either as a hardcore Bible-Lover or as a cheesy airhead.  There are so many phrases that would explain it so concisely; e.g. "It's against my religion," "I want my first time to be with my husband," "I don't want to run the risk of contracting STD's, STI's, or pregnancy," or even, "I want to connect with someone on an emotional level instead of a physical level," but every single one of these phrases is laughed off as cheesy and unrealistic in the modern world.  It doesn't seem to matter what my reason is, it's always wrong.

It seems I need to come up with a deeply thought out and intelligent answer that includes none of the above to be accepted in any debate. When someone makes a statement like, "You should have sex before you get married so you can find out if he's any good," the first thing in my brain is, "If I've already decided I want to marry him and I've never had sex with him, it probably won't matter how he performs because I'll obviously love him for the hundreds of other things he is good at."

But of course, this is 2016.  No one will accept an answer like that.  Love is for elementary school crushes, not serious dating.  So I'm forced to stutter and answer the question in a roundabout, complicated way because I'm either afraid of stepping on someone's beliefs or being viewed as a prude.

But why? Why should I be afraid of stepping on someone's beliefs when they aren't afraid at all of telling me, as if it is a known fact, that "Sex isn't bad," or, "It's not a big deal once you do it?"

The reality of the situation is, if they are going to come at me with generalizations like that, I'm not going to hold back in telling them what I truly believe. Let the judgement commence.

The following is a list of questions and statements that have actually been directed at me, almost word-for-word, and the answers that I truly believe.

1. Are you a virgin?
• Yes. I am a virgin. And I am proud! (this is the answer I have actually given on several occasions.)
2. Why don't you want to have sex?
• Loud and proud, I'm religious.  Also: STD's, STI's, Pregnancy, Anxiety, waiting for marriage, wanting to connect emotionally before physically, I'm just straight up proud to be a virgin, and the list goes on. Take your pick.
3. What will you do if you get married and he's not very good?
• As previously answered, if I've already decided I want to marry him and I've never had sex with him, it probably won't matter how he performs because I'll obviously love him for the hundreds of other things he is good at.  
4. What about "other" stuff?
• This question cracks me up every time. Virgin literally means untouched, not touched-but-not-penetrated. If you can use the word "sexual" describe your activity, it counts as sex.
5. Oh, I'm not talking about sex.
• Oh, don't even start. Sex is exactly what you were talking about. Just because I can't contract a disease or have a baby from what we're doing doesn't make it okay, whether I'm coming from a religious or non-religious standpoint. Any rubbing of "parts" is not allowed.
6. Do you think you could be asexual?
• No. Trust me. No way. Just because I'm waiting to have sex does not mean I don't have sexual urges. I am just as attracted to that tanned, shirtless lifeguard as you are.
7. It's really not a big deal once you do it.
• I appreciate your opinion, and I respectfully disagree. There is nothing wrong with having a casual opinion about sex, however I am very passionate about my decision in not having sex, and I don't need to try it to find out whether or not it's a big deal to me.
8. Do you masturbate?
• I hate this question, because I'm going to be wrong any way I answer.  If I answer no, someone will tell me, "You should at least masturbate so you know what kinds of things you're into." If I answer yes, someone will tell me, "Masturbation is against the Bible, too," and proceed to try convincing me to lose my V-card.  In the end, I usually decline to answer, saying that I don't feel comfortable discussing the situation.
9. You'll find someone eventually.
• I know I will. I find it kind of funny that when people find out I don't want to have sex, they automatically assume that I've just given up.
10. Aw, you're so cute. I used to be naive, like you ...
• Wisely naive. Most statements along the lines of this are incredibly condescending.  Thank you for calling me cute, I take that as a compliment.  I have a cute, childlike personality.  I am happy living a very innocent life. However, I'm not ignorant. I do understand your sexual references. I know when a guy is hitting on me. I have lived just as many years. Whether or not I've had sex doesn't make me any less of a person than you.

No one should ever be ashamed to admit to their virginity if it's something they believe in. And if someone is going to treat you badly or make you think you are wrong for making this choice, you don't need to try to impress them for their friendship. You don't need this kind of negativity in your life.

I am 19 years old, I am a virgin, and I am proud.